Well, I’m dissociated, or am emotionally frozen, to be specific. If someone saying this would help me un-dissociate, I’d be much obliged. I need to un-freeze, and if you know of no better strategy to do so, so if you’re gonna criticize, please know my motives–and provide an alternative.
Sally, your son is right. No, his attitude isn’t perfect, but his intent is correct. *He believes you to be, well, a liar, hypocrite, and a white-washed wall. If so, then he has reason to distrust–not just be angry. *He wants you to respect him, as opposed to love him–as he sees it, “love” means unending condescension–and rudeness. *Right or wrong, he believes he has the prerogative–and duty–to hold you accountable–both now, and in the future, and you’ve wrongly refused to acknowledge this. You claim he’s vengefully emotional, yet he says every time he’s tried to reduce this into a syllogism of logic, you’ve balked. *He once went to a husband-and-wife team, laid out his frustrations, was direct, and sought their support, but they balked, too; he offered that they resolve their differences via a theologian’s ruling, but they balked at that, also. He’s gone to pastors, who have acknowledged his logical claims, and complimented his intelligence–but utterly failed to acknowledge his visceral claim to authority which works fine for them on paper. *He demands your respect, on this, because he can, and because he also wants to you to show him the respect he’s due, just as he’s given you, yours. *You were head of household, and *parent, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t due any respect. *When the Scripture says we should submit to each other, it means it–no exceptions, no special*privileges. *He knows *that you admire Stonewall Jackson’s orders that his men shoot first and ask questions later; well, as you measure, so shall it be measured unto you–he’s simply holding you to the standard you created for yourself. Sally, at the present time, for him to “forgive” you is to validate your sin, because sans recognition or respect for the things he’s fought for, it would be wrong–wrong towards you, and himself. You may never acknowledge the reasons he’s mad at you are right, but he cares about his integrity and honor, and seeks respect for that, if nothing else; as such, I bestow that on him. Sally, to make orders you do not enforce, is wrong; as as much as he sought to hold you accountable, as much as he genuinely did so out of conviction, power to that. *As much as you were an unGodly hypocrite, power to him for caring–and shame on you–for resisting. No he’s in no way perfect, Sally, but all the same in spite of how he expresses it, you still have a very loving son, even he’s a bit angry with you, right now.