What you say.
Look, Philip, you need to forgive. I know you’re angry, and I know that your family hurt you. That said, it is wrong to seek revenge, and wrong to get even.
What I hear.
You’re wrong to be angry, Philip.
You say: I love you.
I hear: My love is conditional on you doing what I ask! I also don’t care about your logic or feelings, either.
You say: I want you to trust me.
I hear: I neither trust, nor respect, nor even try to hear what you’re saying!